Monday, April 14, 2014

Like I have time for this?......

As I'm working fast and hard on some pretty extensive Easter projects for my church, my thoughts are begging to be layed out. Because you know, that's the rational thing to do when you have three weeks worth of work to accomplish in 4 days. Just take a break to blog somethin all rambly....
 Anyhow, I'm just thinkin about how much we can accomplish from heart alone. What I mean is like how you can have so little material to work with, no extra money at your disposal and a small window of time to do it but if it's something you're passionate about you can create some really great stuff. 
Our classrooms are badly in need of a color injection. Framed prints are not cheap so I've bought some dollar store foam boards and recreated some images I liked online.
$2 knockoffs rather than $100 for framed art? 
You betcha!

This is what I was I was working on when I was inspired to take this detour.
Because we don't have a printer, I have to look up fonts online and hand draw them, paint them and then tediously cut them out..... I never enjoy doing this part.
But what a small sacrifice.......
I think about what I could be doing in this exact moment had I said "No" when God called me out. What would I be doing?
 Where would I find myself at this moment?......
Surely not anything like this. Nothing as pure in intent, nothing peaceful and constructive as this.....
Anyone in my life at this moment would have trouble imagining anything harsh for me.
But I know. I was there, you see.....

I feel like everything I do is always down to the wire and by the skin of my teeth. I never have everything I need as far as materials. Never seem to have enough time..... but it just happens.
It's kinda like how the baby doesn't care if the doctor's there or not, it's gonna be born when it needs to. And the momma? 
She's gonna push whether conditions are favorable or not ;)
Geez, what an overly dramatic analogy...
I've once again overcommitted but you know what? 
Just as it's played out dozens of times, I know.
We're gonna make it to the church on time.......
And what a privilege to be called to serve within my passion. The alternative for my life keeps me ever grateful. Even my hands, I do not consider my own........
 or my feet ;)

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Broken walls and facetime

Hello again.
Today just felt like a good day to put somethin out there.
Just got off the phone with my mom. We haven't spoken in quite some time.
When I saw her number on the screen I felt a deep relief.  We spoke about Mr. Herb Hennekee, who you can read about here and here.  We talked about a bag of vintage brass animals I found in my garage and that was about it. The thing that has stood between us like a bouncer?
We didn't talk about that. And we may never.
But I want my mom back so it's ok for now.
And just like that, I feel like blogging again......
A few things have changed since the New Year. One huge change is the introduction of technology into my hands. My sister and buddy got me an Iphone and it has been a blessing and a curse!
I have not even picked up my camera in months! All my photos are on my phone, which is so convenient but really just missing that real camera quality and attention. It is pretty awesome to have this particular new super power, though......

It is guaranteed to up the entertainment on any phone conversation.
If you facetime me, chances are I'll answer in costume.
It's totally bettered my life ;)
And just like that I'm ready to close. Baby steps, steps.
But now I feel it comin back :)
Hope you guys are well, I think of you so often.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentines..........

Happy Valentines, guys :)
I have a whole bunch to get done today and I've kinda thrown in the blogging towel
but I just keep thinkin about something.
And when I can't shake something, I find this is the place where it usually stays put. 
This picture was taken around 2001. I gave it to my guy for Valentine's that year.
This picture and even the frame was a lie.
There was no love between us. Just a real sour soul tie. A whole lotta bitterness, strife, jealousy, control, abuse, disrespect. Everything that Webster's would define as "anti-love".
But we were livin like most folks. We shared a place, shared a bed, shared meals and did life together. It was miserable, but we were together.
We were two people incapable of love. The harder we tried to emulate the world's version of love the more frustrated and heartbroken we became. I know that for me, staying was a way to cling to the one shining ray of love I had ever experienced or given from my selfish and hardened heart....the little girl who I gave life so that she could be life for someone else.
Emily's life was saved by Love. The love of strangers who worked in a pro-life ministry.
Love was in the eyes and voice of the woman whose face I do not remember, who told me things I had never heard. I do not even remember her words.
 But Love spoke something so deep to me that everything I knew when I callously entered that place was now upside down.
I went home and quit my first job. I didn't need that money anymore.
This baby would live and not die.
So much Love was shone on my heart that day that I put everything damaging down. The baby would have a safe place inside me, beyond that I didn't know.
Love opened my eyes to the harsh reality of our lives and gave me resolve to understand she was not ours entirely. I coasted by on the residue of the love that I felt in that place of ministry and hid myself away from the influence of my former life. When there were merely weeks left until her birth, we were contacted by a woman who "knew somebody".
And with Love, I handed her off......
And Jerome and I had nothing between us but that one act of love.
We stayed together and eventually married. But that one act of love couldn't sustain two hardened hearts and we dissolved. More like exploded. Over everything and everybody.
We were both shattered people, wandering and hurting from so much loss. Utterly disappointed with how empty our lives were and faced with the truth that we destroyed and abandoned every thing eventually. And in our separation and estrangement over two years we both experienced a touch from Love again.
But this time it was not just the residue of someone else's real love. We came face to face with God, whose very nature is love and even calls himself Love. We trusted him, this God who was nothing but a mockery, a rule maker, a taskmaster and at most times a non-issue in our circle.
And how did he ever come through!
 We now have a real marriage. We still have moments of bitterness, strife, jealousy, disrespect and all that ugly stuff. We're all selfish by nature. But now we have a revelation of true love.
It doesn't quit. It doesn't stay offended. It doesn't force it's way.
It yields it's rights. It forgives. It perseveres!
Love never fails.

Oh yeah.
And Love redeems.

Happy Valentines Day.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Free pizza is sometimes awkward.

Hey guys !
I didn't miss blogging for a bit. Until I found out that The Geek had rolled out a brand new blog out of nowhere! Here I was just assuming he was hibernating through this crazy weather seeing as he lives at the tippy top of America but he was totally morphing into a butterfly over there. I bet he was a cute pupa ;)
But seriously, it gave me a fresh buzz for this stuff.
January will pretty much go on undocumented but like they say, "If something happens without being blogged about does it even make a sound?"

So today was gorgeous and sunny so we grabbed the free kid meal coupons I'd been saving for a special occasion (I've come to the conclusion that those "occasions" never arrive and we end up throwin those deals in the trash once they expire. So just use it!)
But I didn't really think it through and it was pretty awkward assuring and reassuring the nice young waiter that No, I was fine and I wouldn't be ordering. Jerome warned me that it would be embarrassing to use those vouchers without ordering a meal for myself!  It was so awkward that I colored on Gabe's little menu sheet the whole time they ate, ha ha!
Has anyone else been such a cheapskate??

It was a beautiful day though, ya know? I like getting older. I like the fact that my kids and my friendship with Jerome are all I really need. I like being content with not having everything I want.
I hate lemonade but I like makin it.
Missed you guys and gals!

I'm sorry for not responding to comments for a good while. That's pretty lame of me, I know :/
Here's to better communication in 2014 ;)

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Hero stuff

So I'm set on paring down my internet use for the first month of the new year  and I mentioned it a few times. I was careful to give myself a little leeway with "possible" blog updates and email. And I'm glad I did because I need to say stuff.
Jerome came home from work last night and told me somethin that really hasn't sunk in until just now as I was takin a shower.....
He was headed to his evening job on the freeway. He said that everyone suddenly hit the brakes and almost came to a stop. He went up just a little ways and saw an SUV flipped over against the guardrail with smoke and fire comin from under the hood. He parked far enough away from the car to be out of the clear in case of an explosion and ran back. He passed a lady who had also pulled over and was crying on her phone so he knew that assistance was bein called for and just kept going.
He reached the car as two other men did and as they stooped to look for the driver he saw car seats in the back. He crawled through the broken back window and didn't see any kids. He asked the young man if he had children with him but he was afraid the man was too disoriented to trust his answer. He crawled into the very back of the SUV to see if by any chance a child had been tossed back. 
When he saw no one he scrambled out and helped the other two guys carry the man away from the  burning car. He noticed that the man's leg looked broken and out of place. As they set him down they could hear sirens approaching and he knew that help would be there very soon.
And then he ran back to his blazer.
He was about to be late for work.
I know, right?!
Like, who are you Jerome? Really, who ARE you??
I kept pressing him for every detail last night, I just needed more. I wanted to know everything!
And he answered me but he didn't answer me like Cosmo Kramer. I would have totally been Kramer if that were me. I asked him if he thought about the possibility of the car exploding with him inside. He said "Of course, when I got halfway there. I didn't want to go in either. But I saw car seats"......... I asked him if it was even amazing to him and he told me very matter of fact it was the greatest thing he ever did for someone.
 But he didn't expound. 
And today he realized that he had tiny slivers of glass in his hands. After working an evening shift at one job and then half the day at another.....
I really don't think the people who know us really get this guy. 
I really don't think that I know what I have.
When it was all kinda sinkin in tonight (the shower is the one moment of uninterrupted thought processing for most parents) I started to cry a little. What if that car had exploded?
He had thought of it, as well. Anyone would have thought it.
I can't imagine anything without his presence. He's just what I know, he's part of me. He's been the biggest presence in my life since I was 16. How does anyone carry on after losing a spouse? I cannot even go there and imagine it....... I'm thankful. So thankful. And proud. Very, very proud.

And no, the Huey's haven't jumped the shark.
We have a thousand more outstanding adventures ahead of us yet. ;)


Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Take one part joy and one part loss and mix. 2013 !!!!

This year has been overwhelming.
 Sometimes so overwhelmingly heart breaking that I didn't even recognize myself in my responses. 
And yet so many extremely joyous things happened for our family, too.

 6 years in a tiny two bedroom apartment finally paid off and what seemed so impossible throughout 
much of the journey became reality. Every thing about us gettin into this house is a miracle. The neighbor's are still shakin their heads in wonder ;)

We have filled this house to the brim with life.....

And we've made it a home. People who pass through always say the same thing,
"It feels like a real home."

The first night here my best friend could not help but dance uninhibited in our empty dining room.
It was tangible joy that night, felt by one who truly loves us......

This year we've made a house a home.....

We've played outside without steppin in other people's dog poo, which is totally a big deal if you were an apartment shut-in for most of your children's lives...

This year I taught a group of girls the importance of forgiveness.
I poured my heart into the teaching, hoping with all faith that they would see that it is life and death to us.
Months later, I was the student of my own teaching......

 We had some extremely trying times within our family when we took in a few precious members.
We opened our hearts and homes to be a safe place for them but found out in one of life's hardest classrooms that you cannot, as much as your heart wills it, change the course of another family.

 In our efforts to be a voice for those without one,
we put a wall between us and the rest of our family.......
 But that wall was being built by God for another reason we would never have dared to dream of.
As we became a fortified city and a unified team, the most rewarding gift from God was coming our way....

 Our life is now a safe place and goodness flows like a river through it. What a miracle that the little girl who was adopted 13 years ago would find us through this blog! God, I am so thankful for your continuing mercies and love.
If we allow Him, He makes beauty from ashes.....

 This year we lost most of our family relationships. 
And we have gained more than we deserve.....
 2013 saw my other half gettin sucked into the blog lifestyle...
 No longer merely a side liner in photos but an active member of Boo Bobby....
 And I've got to give a lot of credit for that to the box of toys The Goodwill Geek sent.
In the time we spent around the table over it's contents somethin happened.... he crossed over ;)
 I met some truly amazing bloggers this year and was given some awesome gifts.
The stuff isn't what really moved me. It was being thought of, being "known" like that by others out there....

I took a lot of photos with inanimate objects.
In 2013 they are now called "Selfies" and I can't stand the narcissism in that phrase ;)
Can't a gal just pose with toys ?!

 We celebrated birthdays in our home and were able to have real parties and gatherings for the first time!

 Hmmm. Realizing that Gabe apparently had no birthday. Cannot even recall it, not even a wisp!
 I wanted to meet a fellow blogger who I've really come to love and I made it happen!
Okay, that sounded a bit stalkery and weird. It totally wasn't like that ;)

 I did my first ever paid (sort of) photo booth, a venture that lived in my heart for quite some time.
It was a total hit and I am happy to say that I'm confident to move forward in it!

In 2013 we experienced some pretty tight hand to mouth moments in our finances. We dug in and just decided to push harder and some cool things happened in both of us. I got out from a blanket of lifelong insecurity and put myself out there for commissioned "artwork" and such........
 I also found out how shiesty people were when it came to handmade goods and services.
Oh my gosh, I've developed a shrewd business approach out of disgust alone! I'll be darned if I work for peanuts in 2014. I'm serious as a heart attack on this one....

 We strung our first Christmas lights. Woo Hoo!!
 Lay in our first snow! Even if it was faux snow...... ;)
 Had our first roller night :)

Was at the event of the year where I saw my mentor, Carmen Sifuentez become Carmen Maxwell.......

It was such an epic occasion that I got my hair did for the first time.
And at 31 years old. Some things just take time, folks ;)
 Was humbled beyond belief to lead a weekend youth retreat for S.O.S. Ministries.
And believe me, this was no craft and circle time event. There was true healing goin on within the hearts of these precious little girls.....

 This was also the first time I fell asleep smiling in all my life.....

So those were the highlights, folks. And some of the dumb stuff ;)
We took down all the Christmas flair, our first ever in this home of ours and I can speak for myself when I say that I am ready.
 For all the new beginnings that can possibly come my way.....
I'm not a resolver but more of a decider ;) Here's my Big decisions.
I decide to give honor and credit and glory to God for all things in my life.
I decide to spend only a fraction of my time on the endless rainbow ride we call Internet.
I decide to not let the family hurts jade me and steal my passion for child advocacy in the coming year.
I decide to organize the crap out of this house. It helps me perform better and that lends to prosperity.
I decide to hack away at my passion for a photo booth business. After looking online at what the Houston area offers I am certainly underwhelmed. There's definitely room for me and Jerome!
I decide to take better care of my family's health in the foods we consume.
I decide to love this man more than anything else. To respect him, honor him and make sure his sock drawer never goes empty again ;)